I can't participate in society like most people can. And that's ok.

For most of my life, I felt like an odd outsider, hyper-aware of my awkward and sensitive body and mind. I could put on a convincing act if you didn’t know what to look for, but I was always aware of the cracks in the facade.

Eventually, many of us hit a point where pretending becomes impossible. For some, it’s autistic burnout that makes masking harder, while others simply stop caring as much about fitting in. Everyone's journey is different.

One common thread among us is the feeling of being alone. We thought we were the only ones who noticed every detail, felt out of place, or kept our true selves hidden. It’s comforting to realize that we’re not alone after all.

Sometimes, I’m reminded of how different I am when I see how others navigate society. They wear trendy clothes, strike poses for photos, go out easily, and share their experiences openly. They don’t seem to worry about being watched or interacting with strangers. Not all autistic people struggle with this, but I find it challenging. I feel awkward in photos and often avoid being perceived.

I understand that my life might not look appealing to non-autistic people, and I’m not sure I’d want to live like them either. I can’t even imagine what that would be like or if it would be better than the unique experience I have as myself. And that’s okay. I’m fine being the quirky one who’s hard to understand. As an autistic therapist, I get to support others who feel the same way.

#actuallyautistic #autistictherapist